I have no idea why but it is really difficult for me to talk to people that I am not interested in. I am probably the worst person in the whole world at making small talk. Last night I went to a bar with some co-workers and their friends and being the new guy here I didn`t know very many people. I started talking to some guy and he started telling me about how he plays congo drums and guitar and bass. I was only saying things like "oh cool" and nothing else but this guy would just not stop talking. He then told me that he has a "funky, bluesy, folky rock band." and that "his best song is called "Uncle Sam Don`t Sweat" and that "it is a funky number, because I like to get funky". Now, some people might be able to fake interest in a conversation like that but I just cannot do it. When someone says "my best song is" and then that song has Uncle Sam in the title, you know 100 percent it cannot be good. I think that my inability to sustain conversations like this for a long time makes me look like an asshole and because I am new I want to continue these conversations but I just cannot think of anything to say. The guy also told me things like "my claim to fame is that I can speak Japanese better than anyone else" and "I used to get in fights a lot when i was young but now i can channel my energy into other things like funk and surfing" Who says these things?
I think that the reason I am not very good at this is that when I was in high school I and early college years I never really went to any parties. And if I did go they were parties where i knew everyone and saw everyone every weekend and we were all close. So i was never really put in situations where I had to sustain conversations with strangers for a long time. And my friends and I from high school were so close that I never really had that many friends that were only acquaintances and each time i saw them we had to make small talk. Therefore i am horrible at it.
I guess I have been spoiled with great / close friendships in my life and that I have realized that friendships like that are not easily found. Does anyone know if there is a "how to make small talk and not look like a total asshole" book out there? if so, let me know.